Surely this is a joke, right?

I was supposed to leave for TN first thing in the morning. Guess what? Not gonna happen. Imagine that! So, my car's totalled and I had planned to take Mom and Dad's instead. Well, the fates didn't like that idea. When I got home from taking Dad to Lethbridge to see Grandpa Q the car was making a funny noise. Not just a little noise either, but a banging, rattling noise. I turned off the engine and walked around the front and found a river of oil running out of the engine. Oh lovely! We've lost the engine. Yup, that's right. Engine kaput! So, there goes Christmas. All of my presents are down in TN cause that's where we were planning to be. We can't get them shipped up in time unless we lay out all sorts of dough and that may not even be enough to get here on time. But really that's not all that important. I wanted to see my husband. I wanted to sleep in my nice bed and play games with the kids. I wanted to walk my puppy and just be a family again.
I've checked the train, renting a car, and flights. The train is sold out. Renting a car is obscenely expensive, and the only flight out is tomorrow morning at 8 am and there is no way I can get there without a car. This is ridiculous! I give, already. I give! Just stop the insanity!
Ya, whatever!