Tacky Wedding Announcements / Invitations

This spring and summer we have been inundated with wedding invitations from very cute, adoring couples. They all contain lovely pictures, beautiful script and sweet messages of a happy future together. I love the creativeness of them but invitations get less formal every year. I've been shocked by some of the things I've read in ones sent to us, weddings I've worked and some winners posted online. Tucked inside you might find little notes that say things like:

"Please Donate to Our Dream Honeymoon Instead of Gifts", I'm sure there are nice resorts closer than a Safari through Kenya.
"Please Include Gift Receipts with Gifts", cause we might think it's cheap and ugly and want the cash more!
"Money Tree/Wishing Well at Guest Register", we're trying to be subtle but all we really want is your bank account!
"Help us buy the bride a piano! Sshhh! It's a surprise!", wow! that's a major money grab!
"No Boxed Gifts" (just cash...hint, hint),
"No Gifts Please. Envelopes Accepted", and they better be stuffed with the green, baby!
"Our House has Already Been Made Into a Home but the Bride Will Pass Her Boot Around After the Ceremony", No explanation necessary! But a boot?!?! Really?!?! On your wedding day???
"Target is Our Favorite Store. Gift Cards Appreciated", ya, we just don't trust your gift buying skills.....your taste stinks and we don't want it in our house!
"We are Dedicated to a Life of Simplicity and Therefore Request Gifts be Monetary to Help Pay Our Student Loan Debt". (honeymoon is in Hawaii and if you have to announce you live simply well then, Honey, you ain't doin' it)
"We've Found Each Other. Oh What Luck! There's a Family Dinner. Just Remember, it's POTLUCK!" If you need help with a wedding just ask your family and friends but not on the invitation itself. A little forethought is all we're asking.
and one lovely phrase I read today...
"No gifts. Minimum donation $100" apparently not an uncommon request in the northeastern states. (they threw a six figure wedding)

My all time favorite tacky behavior at weddings? The Dollar Dance!! Guests pay the Bride and Groom for a turn on the dance floor, tucking bills into hands, pockets and pinning to the gown. I don't know about you but I can't be hired as a private dancer for anybody! You could end up dancing with a major Creeper!

Come on people! Miss Manners must be gobsmacked when she hears of these. If you check any wedding etiquette book or website it will tell you that even including your registry information is viewed as extremely rude. This is just so TACKY!! A wedding is supposed to be an occasion celebrated with your loved ones not a pick pocket session. People want to give you gifts when you marry. Honestly we do. However a direct plea for money is truly unseemly. Let your mother or mother-in-law to-be and your bridesmaids quietly pass the word about your registry or what your monetary needs are. Your family and friends will almost certainly ask just because they love you and want to give what you desire. Don't make them feel like they have to pay a cover charge to offer their congratulations on your blissful union.