Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Better do this while I'm still awake.........hardy har har

The clock on my dresser says it's past midnight again. I haven't been able to sleep properly in ages. All night long my mind races through things I should have done, things I wish I could do, why it should be different, how to be better as a mom, an employee, as a photographer. I have yet to find a way to shut off the gears that spin continuously. Work has been a complete island of stress. More and more gets dumped on my plate. The equipment I am supposed to work with is faulty causing me to often have to repeat work I have just done. I am frustrated beyond measure. I'm sure the lack of sleep is contributing to this but how do you make it stop when it just causes me to worry more and have less emotional reserve for the tough days?
I wanted to enter a photo for a gallery showing in August but haven't had the time or the creativity to complete it. I have to be honest.....I hate working for other people!!!! It drives me crazy to have to cow-tow to others demands. I am not used to being under someone's supervision. It really chafes!!! Last week I got sick and took a day off. While gone, the merchandizing manager worked the inventory ordering for the day. YIKES! What a mess he made!!!!! I had to spend half the next day calling vendors and cancelling orders for things we don't even carry. I was so irked with him that the instant I ran into him I gave him a good telling off. "Don't you ever touch my orders again"!! He was shocked but when I explained the mess he had made he agreed not to try to "help" anymore. Thank goodness. Today, the mobile computer that I use ran out of battery within an hour. By 10am I had gone through 4 uncharged carts. I was so disheartened. I am becoming embittered about my job. Hmmph! Anybody know where the money tree grows?

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