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Sunday, September 13, 2009

I'LL SAY WHATEVER I WANT!!!!

I'm am so very angry!!!!! I will not apologize for any of my actions recently and I won't apologize for anything I am about to say or have said in the past. I refuse to accept you foisting your feelings of inadequacy on my shoulders. I don't care how insecure you feel about yourself; you do not get to take it out on me!!!! You are an emotional abuser and always have been. But then again that is a step up from the physical abuse you used to dole out. However, that is still not a reason to let you stay in my life. You chose to behave badly. You have no excuse to act that way.
I have worked my entire life to be acceptable to you. I have never, got that?, never! felt loved by you. I have never felt like who I am is good enough. I will not allow either of you to treat me differently than you treat the others. I will not accept leftovers any longer. I do not want conditional love. Oh wait I haven't even rated that yet. HA! You have acted toward me and my child in this manner for the last time. Is that clear?!?!?!?!?! THE LAST TIME! I won't be allowing you back into my life in any degree for the time being. You must get a lot of help. You cannot be around me. I refuse to let your toxic behavior ruin my life anymore. I don't care what happened to you in the past. I don't care what lame excuse you will lay like a sacrificial lamb at my feet. You no longer exist in my life. I don't care what the consequences are at this time because they cannot be worse than what has happened before. Just remember...you are the cause and the cure. Stay away from me and I'll do the same for you.

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6 Comments:

Michemily

Ouch. I just hope your day gets better.

Rockelle

inlaws again?
Clarify...and so sorry!

Deanna Quinton Larson

Unfortunately not inlaws.....can't name them though.

Rita

It stinks to be grown up but feel like a child in so many ways. Love you and wishing some healing for you.

Lynn

A lot of what you said has been bottled up for a long time...glad you got it out...toxic people are a bane on a happy life. That's why I left home as soon as I graduated from H.S. at 17...I got really tired of not measuring up. My escape away changed my life forever to that of pain and tears to happiness and smiles. Those toxic people are 3,000 miles away, which really helps too !

Quincey

I'm sorry Deanna, I hope you can get through this okay, you're a strong woman. On a positive note -- you set some very clear boundaries!!! Good for you!! I don't think there's any room to misunderstand what you're requesting!