The Worst Day Yet.

Today was scheduled for Grandma H's funeral. I stayed up late last night trying to get ready. I was to play a flute solo and needed to get a photo printed for display at the reception. Besides that I just couldn't sleep. It's not the easiest thing to lay down and close your eyes when so much is on your mind. I finally got my eyes to close around 3am. At 4:22am the phone rang. My aunt was calling to say that Grandpa Q had been taken to Emerg and the Dr. was saying to gather the family. What a wake up call. Dad left first and about 20 min later Sierra and I jumped into the car and raced the 45 minutes to the hospital. We made it in time. Grandpa passed at about 7am. He was aware enough to know we were there. I was able to say goodbye to one more Grandparent this week. What a draining day. Grandpa dies at 7am and we put
Grandma in the ground at 1pm.

I am so very exhausted. Emotionally and physically I have given my all. My brain feels like mush and my heart is so heavy but truthfully I am so very grateful for the knowledge of the restored gospel. It makes me so glad to know that they are both with loved ones who have passed before and that they have been received into the arms of their Savior. What joy they must have. In a way I am jealous that they have gone and I am still here. Although I will miss them more than I can say and have dreaded this day, I can honestly say I am happy for them. Happy that they are free of pain and sorrow. I know that my Redeemer lives and loves them and me. What peace there is in this knowledge.

In Celebration of Life Well Lived

LILA MARIE BENNETT HUBER, beloved wife of the late Reuben Huber of Redcliff, passed away at the Chinook Regional Hospital on Wednesday, January 20, 2010, at the age of 88 years.
She is the loving mother of: Carla (Nels) Anderson of Soldotna, Alaska, Catherine (Ronnald) Quinton of Cardston, Margaret (Richard) Powell of Lethbridge, John (Carole) Spencer of Clavet, Saskatchewan, Jane (Kevin) O'Brien of Calgary, and Hugh (Helen) Spencer of Toronto. She also leaves behind 32 grandchildren, 39 great grandchildren, and 10 great-great grandchildren, and many grandchildren in the Huber family.
Lila is also survived by her brother Ray (Dorothy) Bennett, her sister Ruth Potts, many nieces and nephews, her former husband, Francis Spencer, and many Spencer family members.
She was predeceased by her parents William Alvin and Mary Bennett, brothers: Cliff, Bill, Jim, and Den, and grandsons Clayton O'Brien and Eric Kilistoff.
Lila was born March 18, 1921 at home in Taber, Alberta. She excelled as a student in Barnwell, at Utah State University and Garbutt Business College in Calgary. She continued her pursuit of learning by taking many classes throughout her life in English, Philosophy and History. She enjoyed writing stories, poems, scripts and life histories and was a published author. As a devout member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she served in many callings including a temple mission in Toronto with her husband Reuben. Lila worked for fifteen years at the University of Lethbridge in the Registrar's Office and the Department of Philosophy. She spent countless hours researching her family history. Family and church were the centre of her life. Lila will be dearly missed.
Friends may meet the family on Thursday, January 28, 2010 from 7:00 to 8:00 p.m. at GENERATIONS FUNERAL HOME, 703-13 Street North, Lethbridge; or prior to the service at the LDS Lethbridge Stake Centre on Friday, January 29 from 10:00 to 10:45 a.m.
The Funeral Service will be held on Friday, January 29, 2010 at 11:00 a.m. at THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS, Lethbridge Stake Centre, 2410-28 Street South, Lethbridge, with Brother Don Hughes conducting. Interment in the Stirling Cemetery.

Goodbye, Grandma!! I'll always remember you and the love you shared so generously with me. You were the one person I knew who loved me no matter what! Thank you for all the support you gave me in my pursuit of my talents, for taking me in each summer, and feeding me food I never would have eaten otherwise. Thank you for teaching me a love of trying new things. I always felt so special when I stayed with you. I loved going with you to restaurants; especially the Chinese ones. Thank you for teaching me about your family and making sure I got to know them and their wonderful contributions. You gave me so very much! I hope I can honor you through out my life! You are my first grandparent to leave me and it is so much harder than I thought it would be. I hope you are having the time of your life right now; that you were received with the same open arms you had for us as you waited by your open door for us each visit.

I finally got around to it

And here it is!! I have always wanted a blue SUV and absolutely adore this one. Today, I made it official. I am now the proud owner of a GMC Terrain. My own wheels again. Now, please pray for me that I can keep this one from any suicidal deer.

Update......

So, the Doc's clinic called and left a message with my dad saying the CT came back clean. I guess that is good news. No brain bleed anyway. Not that I would want that. Unfortunately, my headache is still here. I'll be getting my tush back into his office so we can look for something else. I'm not as foggy feeling and the nausea has stopped. Yay! Maybe I had some sort of virus as well as some weird headache. Hmmm.

This is driving me nuts!

I have had a headache for more than 3 weeks now. I think I am going to go crazy!! I've been to the Dr. and he ordered a CT scan so hopefully that will show something. I'd be willing to have a brain tumor at this point. I just want to know what it is!!! I have horrible pressure in my head. Pain increases with some activities. I lost most of my sense of smell 3 years ago and just now realized this as a possible connection. I feel foggy all the time. My balance is off. I feel like I will fall down stairs all the time. I won't go down them if I can't hang on to a railing or something. My left leg feels weak and clutzy. There is a long list of things that might be connected to this but might not as well. But really it's affecting the way I live!! I'm sooo very tired. I could sleep for 20 hrs spend 4 awake and sleep for another 8 without a blink. My work is suffering immensely. I feel like crap. And the nausea?!? Blah!! I really hate waking up in the middle of the night with the dry heaves!! I almost feel pregnant! But we all know that's an impossibility.

I don't want to be a whiner, though!!! I feel like such a loser. I'm afraid people will think I am a hypochondriac or making more out of minor symptoms. But frankly if this pressure and pain don't go away I don't know what I'll do but a long walk off a high bridge is looking more tempting all the time. People keep telling me how horrible I look. Like I don't know that!! Am I missing an essential vitamin? Do I have strange food allergies? Is my body just stupid? I don't know and I'm not sure I care anymore. Just make it stop!!! Sorry for the whine fest. I don't have anyone to talk to about it.

Handy Dandy

The grocery store is out of green onions again! Apparently the warehouse was out. I love my onions and use them in everything. Sierra to the rescue. As a cheap college student she and her roomies discovered a money and waste saving trick. Take at least an inch of the root end of your green onion and place in water. Why? 'Cause it'll shoot up and keep you in fresh greens for at least three snippings. Never run out again! When the spring shows up plant them and away you go! Fresh onions all year long. MMMmmm!!!!

Now what?

It's 2010! 2010! What? Already?
When I was a teen, like most teens, I sort of planned out what I wanted to happen in my life. For some reason I never planned for anything after the age of 30. That was almost 10 years ago! I just couldn't see that we would still be here on earth this long or at least my life extending that long. So here we are at the dawning of a new year; a new decade. Now what? Seriously, I'm at a loss for goals and such this year. I'm not one for serious, life-changing resolutions because I don't think that sort of pressure is realistic to live with. Change if you want to but you can do that anytime. What I really like to do is have something to reach for sometime during the year. Unfortunately, I haven't thought of any for this year. Just a general goal, that's all. Any ideas? Should I take up a new language? Learn a new skill? Take a class? In what? Maybe I should become a world class body builder? LOL! Ya, that'll happen! Hmmmm.........really am stumped here. It's not that I think I'm perfect, honest! Far from it! I'm just not that motivated right now. I think if I heard an interesting idea that might spark something but who knows? Maybe I'll just keep trucking on in the direction I was going, doing the same things, trying to improve the same things. What could that hurt?